It's been three months since I gave birth to Evelyn, and I can't believe how time flies. My little one is now 3.5 years old and the baby almost 3 months in a few days. It's so much fun being at home with them. At the same time, I miss my old life a little bit. The challenges of building a career while building a family are just as rewarding as being a stay at home mom - but the rewards are more material. I feel blessed to have been able to take five months off work. Watching Evelyn smile and laugh for the first time and reach her different milestones has been wonderful; I wouldn't miss it for the world. Hana has been a really good big sister, and it's been so amazing seeing them develop a relationship even at this early stage in life.
I have always wished I could be a stay at home mom. But it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to my husband who would have to financially support me and my past life. It wouldn't be fair to my Mom who struggled to raise me right and give me a good education so I could get a good job and live a good life. And it wouldn't be fair to my two little girls - how could I push them to be successful career women if I wasn't one myself? A lesson learned from a single mom who has much more experience than me.
In order to be a role model to my children and keep a commitment to help support my family, I will be going back to work, a little earlier than expected by two weeks. It's for them, and it's for me too. Although I won't be with the two girls 24/7, there are always nights and weekends. I tear up just thinking about it. When Hana asks me why I'm crying, I tell her I'm going to miss her. Then she hugs me. It's those hugs that I will look forward to coming home from a hard days work.
